Having kids with your guy

[Heather S.]

Is there anyone out there either has had a child with your guy, or hasn't yet, but wants too...??

Avery and I are seriously talking about kids. We will be doing the Artifical Insemination thing. I can't wait. I have wanted a kid for a while now. My biological clock is slamming away, (I'm 29). Avery is definitely ready too. The only thing that is holding us back is money and the fact that I want to get through college (at least an associate's degree) before I have a child. I am afraid that it I put off school to have a child, I will never go back. Avery needs to get through school first, too. We both want me to be able to stay home with the baby for the first few years and we can't do that until he has a better paying job... So.... We wait. Painfully.

I just wondered if anyone else is at this point or some place similar...

(()) & ****
Heather

[Erin]

Well I can't say that i am quite in the same boat but i am a little bit.... I myself have a 6 month old... I am 22... Chase was 3 weeks old when i met Jay.... so you can say that Jay is the only daddy that chase has ever known or will ever know.... I do want to have another baby... I am tring desperately to talk Jay into having one with me in 2 years or so.... Jay doesnt want anymore because he has 2 of his own.... but i am trying hard to convince him into doing so because i want to try to have a little girl.... Jay has twins a boy and a girl... unforturely i will probably never meet them.... there father as completely turned them against me and jay and the little girl hates me and has never even met me... she feels that i am taking her mommy away from her.... and she feels like her mommy is leaving her to be a daddy to someone else... it is a very hard situation to deal with.... it hurts knowing that the little girl hates me more then anything.... they are 7 years old.... the boy dont talk about it much... but Jay says that the girl always says she hates me.... i think as a parent, Jays ex should explain that no one is taking anyone away from anyone... that Jay loves her no matter what.... and that Jay will always love her... instead of filling her head with hateful things towards jay and I... ya know?

(()) & ****
Erin

[Elizabeth Maples-Bays]

Although I am well past the age to have children, my heart goes out to you younger SO's. I smile when I hear you speak of wanting children...or wanting more. I had my two who are now enriching my life by bringing new family members into the fold and make my little private matriarchy bigger. <big grin>

Heather - I wish you all the luck in the world with the insemination. You are wise to wait until you have some education under your belt. It is sooo hard to go to college with kids to care for. I know. My children were 12 and 10 when I graduated from college. It was hard on all of us for me to have to do that in that part of their little lives, but at that point it just couldn't be avoided.

Erin - What a sad story of a little girl being deprived not only of her birth parent's love, but yours as well. She could very well have been the little daughter you wanted...even if she would always see you as a stepparent. My daughter recently became a stepparent to a six year old boy when she and her beloved were married in May. We are all having so much fun with him even though I have to be "Nana" on a long distance basis. Many "organic" grandmothers have to do the same thing.

I will light candles and meditate on a good outcome for all of you on this.

Beth

[Tess]

So... I am 2 years into a relationship, married, and we are raising my (now our) 12 year old son who has known Lyle before and after transition.. I think on the topic of kids, honesty is the best policy. If you raise kids in a very loving accepting environment they are very ready to accept and adapt to new things. Now that Lyle is basically complete with all the transition stuff things are settling down. So far so good, any questions feel free.

[Donna]

Hi. I'm new to this forum but I thought I would tell a bit about myself and my husband.

My husband's name is Kale and we recently got married in Ontario, Canada. Although Kale's documentation still says female (for another year at least) before his final surgery is completed.

Ours is a bit different, together we have 5 children. I have two (aged 20 and 15) and Kale has 3 (aged 12, 10 and 7). It makes for a very interesting and busy household

Kale and I are both 40 and he has been semi-transitioning for about 12 years. It wasn't until about 4 years ago that he finally "came out". He tried to explain to his 3 boys, the older two were very happy and excited to have a dad who would take care of them. The youngest was too small and didn't understand very well. I have been with Kale for the past 3 years and the boys call me mom and Kale is dad.

The only problem we had regarding adjusting was with the 12 year old. He was worried that all Kale's memories of when he was a girl would "go away" after the surgery. We reassured him and took him with us to see the psychiatrist and now there isn't a problem.

The 10 year old is excited and every time Kale comes back from the doctors he always says, "Dad, can we have a peeing contest now?"

I have talked with the 7 year old and he said he doesn't remember much about his "other mom" and he's happy with me and dad.

The changes are not just with my husband but with each new step in transitioning, the children change as well. They do not fear their friends coming over to the house and do not get confused whether to call him mom or dad. In the words of the 12 year old, "Dad is dad."

[Jesse Lu]

So... I'm new, got here just by curiosity. I was looking for information on pregnancy with F+FTM couples. I've always had a desire to carry my partner's child, I feel that for me it would create a stronger feeling of co-creation which is something I oddly long for. I believe in adoption also and am not opposed to carrying my own egg with a sperm donor, but carrying my partner's egg would be the ultimate.

I'm wondering if anyone has heard of anyone else doing this.

My partner still has his ovaries and so I think there lies possibility. But I'm just curious at this point. We probably won't have children for a few years.

Just asking if anyone knows of resources is all.

thanks,

Jesse Lu